


Memory Lane

by geminicastor



Category: Critical Role, Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Amnesia, Don't Judge Me, M/M, Memories, Resurrection, You're Welcome, memory problems, widomauk, wow another resurrection fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27215578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geminicastor/pseuds/geminicastor
Summary: When Caleb finds himself drinking alone one night, he comes face to face with a tiefling he never thought he'd see again. After a few conversations, some drinks, and a strange discovery, the two decide to adventure out into the world.However, can Caleb still bury his emotions or will the memories resurfacing cause another resurrection?
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, mollymauk - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. Dark Red

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Critical Role Fic I’ve attempted to post!! Sorry to my It followers who were hoping for something in that realm. 
> 
> This story will contain spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 2!!
> 
> I honestly don't know how much time has passed in this since Molly died and I don't feel like mathing to figure it out. SO its been a few months probably? Nott is still Nott. They've pirated. They've got the Xhorhaus. They are currently just traveling around now and heading towards The Gentlemen. So that's the timeline? Don't take anything too seriously? I'm not doing a ton of research to fill in blanks like towns and things. 
> 
> ....also I started writing this in my composition book about 3 months ago. And I did write up a Magnificent Mansion for it. Of course it's 10000x different than the Caleb Tower we have now but I'm not rewriting it. So when we get to that part in a few chapters...don't expect the Caleb Tower. Sorry my dudes! I did this first!

_Golden aura, they drew you in.  
Lavish, bright, extravagant, vivid.  
Smiles and lies,  
Forgeries and laughs._

_Dark red eyes, deep and beaming.  
Dark red snow, speckled and gleaming.  
Dark red chest,  
broken and empty._

_Empty.  
Empty.  
Empty. _

Caleb closed the notebook after ripping out his latest written creation, immediately balling it up in his fist and whispering a familiar incantation. The piece of paper caught fire with ease, beginning to burn away slowly. He didn't need anyone else in the Nein discovering it. It had been too long at this point and they would worry that he was taking too long to grieve someone he'd only known for a short while. And maybe he was. 

He'd spent weeks remembering the fight in striking detail, damn his memory. The memory of how he'd almost left them mere hours before. How he had laid on the ground, terrified, while _he_ leapt into the fray, eyes wild with fire and determination. He laid on the ground, prone, and was forced to watch it all happen. 

The ode finally burned away to nothingness, ashes pouring out of his hand and onto the wooden floor of the inn they were staying in for the night. 

"Caleb? Are you awake?" a small voice called from the beds, away from where Caleb was sitting. He glanced up and saw Nott sitting up and stretching out her arms. She was such a comfort for him, but he still couldn't tell her any of these thoughts. She worried too much and to be quite honest, she'd probably guessed half of them by now. "What's burning?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes until she could focus on Caleb sitting on the window sill.

"Just practicing some new ideas, Nott," he replied, standing up and dusting his hands off on his coat. The ash smudges blended in with the dirt. "Come. The sun is up. The others will be ready to leave." 

"Are YOU ready to leave?" Nott asked, jumping up and immediately grabbing her bag off of the foot of the bed. "You don't look like you slept too well, Caleb." 

"I'm fine and packed," he replied, shoving the last notebook into his bag as he headed towards the door. Nott only nodded in response, keeping her eyes on him the whole time. 

Soon enough they were downstairs, ordering a small plate of meats and breads to share. Jester and Yasha were both already there, the latter merely sitting and listening as Jester tittered on about the unicorn she saw in her dreams that night. Yasha didn't seem very interested, but nodded every few seconds to show she was still listening. Caleb often wondered how she was doing lately. She had known _him_ longer than any of the other nein. They had practically been family. Of course he couldn't ask her. The both of them were far too quiet with their feelings. 

But she probably had not recovered. 

"Caleb! Nott! Good morning!" Jester called suddenly, seeing them leaving the counter. 

"Morning, Jester," Nott smiled, immediately sitting down next to the tiefling and beginning their own conversation. Caleb avoided looking anyone in the eyes, mind still filled with the ashes of the ode he had written. Yasha did the same. 

"Good morning to all!" the familiar voice of Caduceus Clay rang out across the inn. Jester immediately called out, waving at him again. How she managed to have this much energy in the mornings, Caleb would never know. Caduceus was already holding his favorite cup for tea and a rather large apple as he sat down next to Caleb. He set his cup down on a piece of cloth and leaned over the table, towering over the human next to him. 

"Good morning," Caleb said after a few seconds of Caduceus looking at him in silence. 

"How was your night, Mr. Caleb?" he asked in his usual relaxed tone. 

"I...slept well," Caleb responded, sinking slightly lower into his chair. 

"Good, good. Would you like some tea?" Cad offered, pulling out a tiny satchel of herbs. Tea leaves. 

"Ah, no thank you." His reply was too quick.

"I can see you thinking," Caduceus said, putting away the satchel and sipping from his own cup. "Care to spill your troubles?"

"I have no troubles," Caleb huffed, dropping a piece of bread into his pocket for later. He wished his coat could just swallow him up, but it did not and the firbolg merely eyed him suspiciously. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine. Thank you. No tea." 

"No tea," Caduceus nodded, patting a large hand on Caleb's shoulder before turning to talk to Nott and Jester. As Caleb looked back up at the rest of the group, he saw Yasha glancing back down and away from him. 

Several hours later, after everyone else had arrived at the table ready to go, they had been out on the road for some time and were approaching a town. Jester wanted the group to stop on the way to Zadash since they had heard about a festival going on in a small town there. Jester was never one to miss out on festivities and Nott seemed equally as excited once she heard alcohol would be involved. According to Jester, it was a festival to celebrate their berry harvest and would thus result in pitchers upon pitchers of wine. Caleb said he didn't mind stopping. It was only a days walk from the town they were previously in. It wouldn't be any trouble.

But he didn't want to go. 

Festivals are extravagant. Vivid. And Caleb was not. 

"Caleb..." He looked to his left where Yasha was now matching his pace, her eyes glued to the town as they neared it. He hadn't noticed her come up next to him, too deep in his own thoughts. The two of them were walking at the back of the party, a fair pace behind Beau and Jester, so their conversation was likely to go unnoticed. 

"Yasha," he acknowledged. She finally looked up at him, away from their destination. 

"I'm leaving." Caleb faltered in his step for a second, nearly tripping. It wasn't the statement that surprised him, but the fact that she was saying it in the first place. It was common for Yasha to leave. It was not common for her to tell anyone. 

"Why?" 

She didn't answer him at first, only looked back towards the town they were nearing. They could see the strings of lamp lights strung up around the town from here, the lowering sunlight glistening off of the glass as they were not yet lit. They looked like strands of circus lights from here. Caleb knew why she was leaving.

“Come with me,” she said, ignoring his question. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” 

“I need to stay,” Caleb responded, heaving a sigh. “For Nott. We do this together.” 

“I know,” Yasha said quickly, as if she’d known his answer all along. She gave him a gentle, knowing smile. “I’ll be back.” 

“We will be waiting.” Caleb turned away from her, picking up his pace slightly and giving her the privacy she needed to slow her own pace and quietly disappear. He wasn’t sure when exactly she left, but by the time they reached the city gates, she was nowhere in sight on the horizon.

He wanted to run, just like he wanted to run that night, so he didn’t blame her. She missed _him_. He did too. 

They passed through the gates with ease, everyone much too busy preparing for the night to notice strangers coming into town. Nott turned away from Caduceus and instead opted to walk next to Caleb, holding his hand as she pushed her tiny mask further up on her face. They wandered through the streets, which seemed particularly bustling for a small town. Wooden stalls lined the streets, set up and covered in berry vines and red silks. Pitchers of wine were being setup on the majority of them along with small cakes and berry tarts. Finally they reached the local inn after questioning a few locals. Across the street from the inn was a tavern, perfect walking distance for someone who may have become intoxicated and needed to stumble to a room. 

“Wait! Where’s Yasha?” Beau piped up as she turned to watch everyone enter the inn behind her. Everyone looked at Caleb expectantly, knowing he was at the back of the party while traveling and should've been keeping a lookout. 

“She had something to do,” he shrugged. “You know how she is. She’ll be back.” 

“You saw her leave?” Beau asked, frowning. 

“Ja,” he replied, not mentioning that she could’ve snuck off without him even noticing but chose not to. 

“Already? But she just got back,” Jester whined, pouting dramatically and peaking out the door as if hoping to see her following them. 

“I guess she needed alone time,” Nott wondered out loud, pulling the porcelain mask a little lower onto her chin so she could speak easier. Caleb didn’t say anything. 

They purchased their rooms for the next few days, not knowing how long the festival would last, and then split off to their rooms to prepare mentally for the night. Nott set about tucking flowers into her hair while Caleb stood by the window, observing the outside as the sunset. Just before darkness fell and the sky was a vibrant purple, Caleb watched as a group of magic users lit the lamp strands, the lights flickering to life and casting a warm glow around the entire town. Children watched happily, laughing at the show the magic users were putting on. He felt sick to his stomach.

He jumped as they heard a quick knock and a squeal of excitement at their door and then fading footsteps racing away. 

“Let’s go, Caleb!” Nott cheered, jumping off the bed and racing to the door. “Last one to the stalls buys the first round!” 

She seemed to completely miss his uncomfortable demeanor in all of her excitement, but he slowly followed her regardless. By the time he got downstairs, Jester and Nott were already heading out of the door, dragging Beauregard with them, seemingly intent on winning the prized first round of free drinks. Fjord and Caduceus were ambling behind them, waiting on Caleb to catch up. 

“What do you usually do at an occasion such as this?” Caduceus was asking Fjord when Caleb reached them. 

“Well, usually I just follow Jester to make sure she doesn’t spend all of her or her mothers money,” Fjord shrugged. “But it’s easy to just relax and go with the flow. Follow the locals.”  
“What about you?” Cad asked, turning to look at Caleb as they made it out the door and began to search for their friends. They were met with lamp lit streets, loud music, and an unexpectedly massive crowd. The walkways were packed tight so it was difficult to see where exactly the party had split off to. Fjord immediately called out for Jester to slow down dove in towards the sound of giggling he thought he could recognize. 

“Oh. Um. I don’t do much of anything. I drink,” Caleb finally said, dipping both of his hands into his pockets anxiously. There were way too many people out here for his comfort and he could feel his chest tightening at the thought of being in the middle of it. 

Caduceus started to follow after Fjord, but stopped when he noticed that Caleb was still standing frozen in front of the inn, staring out into the crowd. He didn't want to go, but he also didn’t want to let the party out of his sight, worried that they might disappear. Or maybe he was afraid that he would disappear instead. 

“I’ll take care of them,” Caduceus said, voice rumbling deeply and pulling Caleb out of his thoughts. “You shouldn’t force yourself to do things for other people’s sake all of the time. Take a break, Mr. Caleb.” 

Before he could respond, the firbolg turned and followed after Fjord, his height giving him an advantage in the crowd. And Caleb was left alone in front of the inn, hands balled into fists in his pocket. Caduceus was right, as usual. He didn’t want to pretend to celebrate right now even if it would make the others happy. It would've made _him_ happy too. Damn Cad's perceptive nature. 

Caleb glanced up at the tavern across the street. The sign outside was covered in the same decorative vines the entire festival was wrapped in. It seemed almost gaudy, the amount of brightly colored linens and vines were strewn around it. 

He took a deep breath and tucked his head down, diving into the crowd to get across the street. He tried to ignore the accidental shoves and bumps, but it still made his anxiety about being in a festive, busy place flare up. Perhaps he should’ve gone with Yasha instead, but he knew he wouldn’t have. Just like he didn’t leave _that_ night either. 

As he finally broke out of the crowded street and onto the front path leading into the tavern, he was starting to regret the decision to come here for drinks. The tavern was lit brightly on the inside and he could see it was crowded and filled with dancing and cheering. It was bright. Vivid. Now that he was closer, Caleb could see that the silks decorating the vines were embroidered in silver and gold threads. He looked away quickly, not wanting to stare at the embroidered fabric for too long, instead heading towards the door to avoid them. 

Thankfully, the inside of the tavern was not as decorated as the outside and the lights were normal lamps instead of the strands of almost circus lamps you could see outside. There was a cleared out section of the room with no tables where, at least, 20 people were dancing in a circle. It was a strange, jovial jig he didn’t recognize. Jester would’ve liked it though. 

On the other side of the room were the tables, mostly filled with laughing patrons, but a few were empty and tucked up near the wall. So he wandered over and took a seat against the furthest one, pulling out a book he had bought the previous day at the previous town. After only a minute, a barmaid was bringing him the traditional wine of the festival. He requested a gin instead. 

A few drinks later he had to put his book away, the words beginning to swim on the page. It wasn’t enough to drown out the thoughts of the festivities outside and certain people who should be enjoying them, but it was enough to start relaxing into the chair and muttering to himself unknowingly. Several women attempted to sit at the table with him, but he was left alone when they realized he wasn’t much for actual conversation despite his looks. They walked away and let him be once he started muttering about dark red eyes and lavender. Alone. 

“Hm. A lonely night,” he sighed, pulling the bottle of gin closer. “That’s what I need, ja?” He downed the rest of the bottle, and this time it made his head droop heavily. He tried to shake it off, but that only made it worse. The room was spinning, colors flowing throughout his vision. He could hear the laughter of the dancers out on the floor, so he glared at the table, willing his mind to focus. Focus on anything. Any thought. 

“Molly…” He hadn’t meant to utter the word, but he did it anyways in his drunken stupor, as it was the first thought he could focus on. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he hadn’t used Molly’s name in weeks, so it did shock him to hear it from his own mouth. 

Caleb hadn’t been watching the room for awhile, otherwise he might have been able to see it sooner. The laughter was louder at the center of the room where reds, blues, and golds spun out in a dramatic sort of flair. A rainbow of colors. But it stopped when Caleb had spoken that one word.

“Did someone call?” A voice rang out through the crowd, seemingly uncaring with how loud it was. Caleb lifted his head slightly at the disturbance, the volume grating on his ears as his head rang. He looked up and he finally caught sight of the flash of red. 

“Dark red,” Caleb sighed to himself, thinking back to the burned ashes of his writing. “Like Molly.” 

“Ah! There you are, dear! What can I get for you?” The loud voice was closer this time, nearly right in front of him, but Caleb’s vision was still unbelievably blurred. As the person strode up closer, he could manage to make out lavender, dressed head to toe in lavish color and vivid reds. The face stopped next him, grinning with pointed teeth and twisted horns. 

Bright colors danced across his cheek and down his neck.

Caleb stood up too fast, the chair he was sitting on falling backwards with a clash. Thankfully, the giddy atmosphere of the room swallowed the sound and the tall, horned being in front of him seemed to be the only one to notice. 

“Goodness! Are you alright there?” The tiefling in front of him reached out a clawed hand and grasped at Caleb’s elbow to keep him from falling over as he stumbled, head pounding. It was at that moment, Caleb’s vision finally cleared enough and the firm grasp on his elbow made it all too real all too fast. 

“M-Mollymauk!” he gasped out, choking on air. With his cleared vision, he could see the vibrant form of Mollymauk Tealeaf, alive and beaming in front of him with his signature red, embroidered coat. But as soon as he spoke the name, the vision of Molly in front of him frowned and released his arm. 

“Oh my,” he muttered, running a hand over his horn which Caleb could now see was devoid of any jewelry. It felt odd to see it like that. “Well. You seem to recognize me. From before?” 

“Not real. Not real. Drunk. You’re drunk,” Caleb started muttering to himself, leaning back against the wall. He reached up and grabbed at the front of his own coat to try and steady his breathing, searching for any sort of support he could muster. It couldn’t be real, but it had to be. The dark red eyes in front of him, gleaming down. They were there. They were real. 

“Shit,” Molly sighed, crossing his arms and deepening his frown. “This is certainly my worst nightmare.” 

That small phrase alone was enough to send Caleb over the edge, his heart shattering in his chest. He finally gave way to the shock and fell to the floor in a heap, passing out cold on the wood next to the scattered chair.


	2. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when a confused Tiefling pulls himself out of the ground with nothing but a note and a name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around! I don't have a TON of time to write until the weekends, so I'm attempting to get these out as fast as I can! This isn't proof read though, so hopefully it makes sense. 
> 
> We're still setting up! Plot thickening comes soon!

_Empty._  
Empty.  
Empty. 

The first thing he felt was crushing. His lungs. His stomach. His throat. Claustrophobia kicked in and he wanted to freeze up in fear, succumb to the numbing darkness. There was nothing but the darkness and restriction. But he was losing oxygen and his body made the choice for him.

His hands started to move, reaching upwards at the pressing darkness around him until he suddenly felt warm air around his outstretched hand. Then he pulled as if his life depended on it, and it felt like it truly did. Finally, his face hit the air, gasping loudly and sucking in his first breath. He clawed at his face in a wild attempt to remove any dirt and soil he could from his mouth and eyes. 

When his eyes were finally cleared enough to look around, nothing that he could see made him feel anything. In fact he couldn't feel anything at all now that the fear of death was no longer weighing on his emotions. There was a dirt path leading past where he sat, still half submerged in the now overturned soil. Grassy fields spread out on either side, clumps of ugly looking crabgrass marking how unkept this area tended to be. 

He finally turned fully and saw something new, and yet it still did not jog any memories or emotions. A red coat was hanging loosely on a pole that was sticking out of the ground. The coat looked dirty and ragged but underneath, he could see the brightly colored strings of hard work embroidered into the fabric. He reached out and touched it, the first thing he felt that wasn't crushing blackness, and it felt soft. But not familiar. The second thing he felt was shock as he saw color on his hand. A snake winding its way up his wrist. A tattoo?

Turning his attention back to the shallow hole he sat in, he began to push at the dirt off of him and wiggle his legs to freedom. As soon as he saw his legs, he couldn't help but stare at his attire. His pants were almost as brightly colored as the coat hanging behind him, even darkened by dirt stains, and there was an odd fabric hanging around his waist as if it had been on him when he burst free from the ground. But none of it was setting off any synapsis in his brain. 

So he waited. And waited. 

Finally, after an amount of time he didn't know how to measure, a horse appeared at the end of the dirt path, heading towards him with speed. So he made a decision, and stood. His first step a shaky one as he ambled into the middle of the street. His knees felt weak but he held his ground as he turned to face the oncoming person. 

"Stop! Please!" he called out. His first words were even shakier than his first steps. His voice felt like it was covered in gravel and stuffed with sand, unused for an unknown period of time. The horse slowed as it got closer and finally stopped. On top of it was a woman, broad and tall with long grey hair. 

"Wow," she said with a grin. "You look filthy." 

"Indeed!" he called back up to her. His voice sounded odd to him, but he found a sort of joy in the thought of bantering back at the woman on the horse. As the first feeling he'd had since the feeling of fear in the ground, he relished it. But he had more pressing matters. "Might I ask where precisely I am?" 

"Shadycreek run," she explaind. "Zadash is a few days just that way. Get lost on your way to take a bath?" 

"I suppose so, but it seems I've forgotten my wash," he replied, grinning back at the woman. " Can you point me to a shop? Or perhaps a way to make some money? I'm not sure I have any on my person." 

The woman turned and shoved off of the saddle, landing spryly on the ground next to him, which was surprising for such a burly, older woman. She observed the scenery around them, the ground, the soil, the coat. Then she observed him. He was covered in dried dirt and much, his clothes stained and filled with holes. He had jewels adorning his horns that twisted around and pointed forward. 

"Pull yourself out of a grave?" she asked, no hint of a smile this time. He looked at the upturned soil again and put that together in his head. 

"It does appear that way, doesn't it." He walked over to the coat blowing gently in the wind and pulled it off of the pole. He stared at it for a second before tossing it over his shoulders and putting his arms into the arm holes. It fit perfectly. "I guess that would make this mine, then?" 

"You are an odd one, but I suppose a man who pulls himself from hell would be odd," the woman nodded. "What is your name?" 

"Can't say I have one, but if I do, I do not remember it." 

"Check your pockets and the grave and then let's see what we can figure out." He was impressed. Not only was the first person he'd met smart, but also caring enough to stick around instead of robbing a previously dead man of everything he had. Seemed like a bit of luck on his part. 

After a few minutes of digging in the dirt, they looked at everything they'd compiled. Swords, a small bag of incense, a helmet, the cloth which now revealed a dramatic depiction of a dragon, and a disguise kit. Once they went over his person, he only had a necklace and two pieces of paper to add to his collection. One was a card with a picture of a moon on it and the other was a handwritten note. 

"What does it say?" the woman asked as soon as he pulled it from his pocket. He stared at the scribble of words, but nothing came to mind. 

"I can't say," he finally spoke after the agonizing minute of trying to decipher it. His mind couldn't conjure any ideas from the scrawls of writing. It might has well have been gibberish to him. "I don't appear to remember how to read." 

"Can't remember much of anything, my friend," the woman laughed, taking the note out of his hands. "Dear Mollymauk Tealeaf. If you are reading this, meet up with the Mighty Nein in Zadash. We will return there often in hopes of your arrival. CW." 

"Mollymauk?" he said, testing the name on his tongue. "Molly." 

"Any memories coming up?" she asked, handing him the note back so he could tuck it back into the colorful coat.

"Nothing, my dear, although I appreciate your help," he crooned.

"I am heading towards Zadash if you'd like a ride in," the woman offered as they packed up the few supplies that he now had. No money. "You'll have to sell some things to afford your bath, but you do have a good amount of jewelry on you." 

"That I do. I'd appreciate the ride." 

The two spent the day speaking about any questions Molly had. Her name was Martha and she had been a "confidential trader" in the past but had stopped after she'd gotten older. But her old age didn't hinder her. She was visiting a friend in Shadycreek but lived in Zadash. Living in Zadash, she knew about the Mighty Nein, but not a lot. It was a small group of adventuring travelers who were quite colorful according to a few people she knew. But that was all the info she had. 

Had he been a part of this colorful group? He was quite colorful himself. 

They traveled together for a few days, Molly trading his different pieces of jewelry for food and supplies along the way. He asked as much as he could think of about the world and what was currently going on. A war had been avoided recently being the biggest news. But nothing she could manage to tell him told him anything about himself. Nothing rang any bells. Nothing gave him an inkling of thought as to where he had come from and who he was. 

His mind just felt empty. 

Then, they were suddenly less than a days ride to Zadash, and Molly froze up with fear, just like he wanted to do in the dirt. 

These people he was riding towards were getting closer and closer, and yet he was no closer to them. He didn't know them. He didn't even know himself. What if they saw him and saw something that he didn't know about himself? What if he wasn't himself? 

These philosophical questions annoyed him to no end. He didn't feel like thinking that hard. It didn't feel right to think that hard. He just wanted to exist in the moment. Maybe try and develop his memories. And if he couldn't, then at least develop a personality to go with his newfound body. And to do that, he didn't want to find a group of people that would claim to know him better than himself. Nor did he want to disappoint these people who might think they've seen a ghost. He was supposed to be dead after all. 

So he said goodbye to Martha, dropping the two pieces of jewelry that had been on the points of his horns into her pockets when he hugged her. He knew she would not accept it as he had learned of her kind heart these past few days. He held on to how lucky he had been to be found by someone who wasn't looking for a weakling struggling in the dirt. But then she was gone and he stayed in the small town just outside of Zadash, home of the Mighty Nein. 

Finding work did not take long. People gravitated to him and he enjoyed it. He had a bright smile and a love of the dramatic, something the average person in these small towns loved. It was a change in their daily lives and he was glad to bring it and see the smiles his extravagant nature could bring. 

He ended up settling in at the local tavern, serving smiles as much as he served drinks. After he began working there, encouraging the cheer and inviting dancing, the tavern picked up in business. The room felt brighter and brighter, night after night. They had regulars who would bring friends who would then become more regulars. The tavern owner was positively ecstatic with the progression of the place after just a month. She allowed him to stay in the tavern and paid him handsomely, hoping he would work his magic as long as she could keep him. 

However, he never introduced himself by his full name to anyone, worried that if word got out about him, the Mighty Nein would be in Zadash and come try to find him before he found himself. He was always just "Molly". Only Martha had known his name, and he had pressed her not to talk to anyone about him. 

Sometimes, things would happen on a whim. For example, Molly was once talking to a table of patrons about their day, which had not been good. Suddenly, he found himself juggling a few glasses and enjoying the way their eyes lit up. 

"I didn't know you could juggle!" the tavern owner laughed along with the crowd when he was done. Molly had not either. 

"They would love that at the festival!" she tittered, swiping a cloth across the bar counter. 

"Festival?" he asked, placing the glasses back into the cabinet. 

"You're new here! I keep forgetting," she smiled. "It just seems like you've always been here casting a ray of light on my tavern here. The festival is an annual appreciation for the harvest. There's sure to be good wine this year, seeming as the harvest was very plentiful. You'll enjoy it! I'll let you have the night off when it starts although I'd love for you to work your magic here. The streets will be filled." 

"Don't worry about it! I'd love to stay here for the opening night. Perhaps after that I can enjoy a night on the town," Molly crooned. He'd never been to a festival so this would be a first. He enjoyed when the tavern became boisterous at night, when the band picked up speed and the dancing became an excited jig instead of a slow waltz. So he was sure the festival would be something to enjoy as well, but he'd rather get a feel for the event by the buzz inside of the building he'd become familiar with. 

As the day of the festival grew closer, he helped with the decorations on the outside of the building. The tavern owner always talked about how much she loved his coat. He'd exchanged his original clothing for newer, cleaner ones, but he kept the embroidered coat. He couldn't seem to part with it and she loved it. So when she asked about helping with the decorations, he suddenly found himself weaving thread into the long strips of fabrics she asked him to hang. Embroidery was something else he didn't know his hands would remember. Embroidery and juggling. His hands knew who he was even more than he did. 

She loved the updated decor. 

The day of the festival, the town was bustling. He'd never seen so many people and was glad to see that it didn't deter him in the least. He loved the crowd and he loved his ability to stand out in the crowd as he put finishing touches on the outside of the tavern. The berries and the garlands and the fabrics? He loved it! He loved decorating the building as much as he apparently loved decorating himself in colorful tattoos and bright jewelry. The jewelry he no longer owned, after selling it all off except for the necklace he felt the need to keep. 

He returned to the inside of the tavern, excited to start the nights work and see how a crowd of festive patrons would differ from their normal crowd. Within an hour of the tavern opening, he was already feeling the difference. It was a true party. As the town fell dark and the streets lit with lamp light, the tavern filled with the regulars. And as the newcomers visiting the festival saw how busy the tavern was and heard the joyous laughter, they joined as well. They were busier than Molly had ever seen it, much like the town itself, and he loved it. He and a group of the regulars push the tables over to the side, clearing a large spot on the floor to dance and the band picked up their instruments and began to play. 

The laughter, the dance, and the spinning became his life for the next half hour. He danced and brought out drinks and loved the smiles being brought in from the outside. This was the closest thing he'd felt to pure joy. A party. A chance to revel in only the now and not think about the next day. Only the next steps. He eventually melted away from the tables and focused only on spinning and dancing and smiling with the crowd on the dance floor. 

Until.

"Molly." 

It was common for regulars to ask for him to deliver their drinks, but he wasn't used to the softness of the voice, especially in this party atmosphere. In fact he was surprised he heard it at all. However, he did, so he turned away from the dance and back towards the tables with a rather flamboyant flip of his coat. 

"Did someone call?" he asked loudly, peering over the crowded tables. He recognized several people there but none of them would've used such a quiet tone. 

"Dark red, like Molly." 

Molly saw him that time, a stranger in the corner of the room at a table as close to the wall as he could get. It wasn't a regular or anyone he recognized, and he looked like he had had far too many drinks already, his eyes unsteady and unfocused. But more than that, his eyes looked unbearably sad as he stared ahead. The visage of the man made Molly feel despondent. He was sitting alone, unlike everyone else here to attend the festivities. Who would be drinking alone at a time like this? 

"Ah! There you are, dear! What can I get for you?" Molly asked, leaning over the table and grinning at the lonely man. He must've heard someone else use his name and wanted a new drink. It was the only explanation he could think of. But as he got closer and watched the mans eyes slowly come into focus, there was something wrong and he could feel it.

The man suddenly jumped up, his chair flipping over as he stared wide eyed at Molly's face. Molly was shocked to say the least. 

"Goodness! Are you alright there?" he asked, leaning forward quickly and grasping at the strangers arm to try and steady him. The man was much too drunk for that fast of a movement. 

"M-Mollymauk!" the stranger uttered, visibly shaking and gasping for breath, much like Molly had when he burst from the ground. His face had turned ashen and his mouth hung open in apparent shock. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. 

His full name was odd to Molly. He'd almost forgotten what it sounded like. He hadn't heard it since Martha left him in this town an entire month ago. But he also knew what it meant to hear now and that caused him to frown, releasing the arm he had been holding.

This man was no stranger.

“Oh my. Well. You seem to recognize me. From before?” he asked. He'd been in this town so long, he thought he could just hide away until somehow he knew who he was or he became who he would be. But it seemed fate had a different idea and he couldn't hide now. The man was muttering quietly to himself about being drunk, which was true, but the shock appeared to be taking over him as he fell back against the wall. Some of the patrons around them were starting to take notice now and for once, Mollymauk wished their attention was elsewhere, other than on him. 

"Shit," he sighed, wishing his first night at a festival could've gone any other way. This man had come out of nowhere and immediately assumed he knew Molly. And maybe he did. The thought of someone else knowing more about him than he did, was as scary as it sounds. "This is certainly my worst nightmare." 

He wished he could take it back as soon as he said it, as the man in front of him suddenly faltered, and then dropped, passed out before he hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several parts of this I wanted to be more descriptive but couldn't seem to get to the right words. Hopefully everything makes sense so far with the setup? Feel free to ask questions!


	3. Golden Aura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb wakes up in an unfamiliar room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter isn't super exciting and it's way too much dialogue for me, but it's necessary to get to the plot. These two wouldn't just jump into what I've got planned, so this is a warming up chapter. 
> 
> Sorry it's kind of boring! As always, it got late by the time I finished this chapter so ignore any typos or weird mistakes! Whoops!

Caleb’s head was pounding and he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He could tell that alcohol was still clouding over his mind, so it probably hadn’t been too long since he laid down. But he couldn’t remember going back to the inn. How had he gotten here? He moved his hands first, wincing at the sharp pain in his head, and realized he was on a bed when his fingers grasped a sheet.  
He opened his eyes, and was instantly surprised.  
The oil lamp on the table next to him was pulled, so it wasn’t too bright, but it still lit enough of the room for Caleb to be confused. And he didn’t like being confused. This was not his room.  
There were no bags. No expensive papers out on the table. No Nott to fluster over him for drinking too much by himself. But most surprisingly, there was no ugly knitted blanket covering him in the bed. No. There was only a thin sheet over him and a coat over top of that. A familiar red coat that he had previously seen hanging on a stick in the dirt. Caleb reached out and felt the coat in his hands, running his fingers over the simple embroidery that layered itself all over the coat in a colorful, gaudy fashion.  
“Mollymauk?”  
Flashes came back to him in bits and pieces. Mollymauk was alive. He was alive and he was here. He was smiling and dancing and alive and here. 

And seeing Caleb was his worst nightmare. 

The thought alone caused his mind to twist and turn as it often did. Having as sharp of a mind as he did was a curse. One thought led to 12 more which led to 12 more each. And normally, these thoughts were not good unless he was buried in a book to focus them academically.  
But it made sense. Why wouldn’t seeing him be Molly’s worst nightmare? The last thing he would’ve remembered of Caleb was that he couldn’t do anything to save him. None of them could, but Caleb was laying down, terrified, while Molly raced into the fray trying his best to save his friends. Giving his life to try to save his friends. It had all happened so fast and he was dead before Caleb could even stand up. Of course Molly wouldn’t want to see Caleb after being brought back from that.  
But no. Something else suddenly stuck out in Caleb’s memory from earlier in the night. The confusion on Molly’s face when Caleb stood shocked, but then the realization dawning on his expression when he said his name.  
Mollymauk had not recognized him at all. 

The door suddenly opened and Caleb’s fingers instinctively tightened around the coat in his hands as he watched the vibrant tiefling that entered the room carrying a tray. Without the coat on, Caleb could tell he was wearing different clothes than he used to wear. There used to be a patchworked jacket with an upturned collar under his coat, but now he only had a thick brown shirt and a pair of tight, black pants. He still didn’t have any jewelry on his horns or ears. If he didn’t have the brightly colored tattoo fanning out across his cheek and down his neck, Caleb wouldn’t have believed it was him. But it had to be.  
Mollymauk didn’t seem to notice Caleb until he turned with the tray and saw him awake in the bed and nearly dropped it.  
“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t think you’d be awake so soon after all of the drinking you did.”  
Caleb was unable to speak for the second time that night, the shock of seeing Molly up and walking still present even for the second time. Molly set the tray down on the bed and Caleb saw that it had a cup of water, a smaller cup of purple liquid, and a chunk of bread on it.  
“To help with the headache you have got to be nursing,” Molly chuckled, pushing the tray closer to Caleb without spilling the water. “You really did a number on our ale selection before I got to you.”  
“I...you....” Caleb didn’t know what to say. This scenario had run through his head so many times but he didn’t know how to react to it now, especially with the alcohol and nauseating headache.  
“Come on now, dear,” Molly grinned. “Drink this first. Then we can talk.”  
“You are…you died.” Caleb didn’t know why he said it, like it would be helpful or useful information at a time like this. But he was in shock, it was to be expected. Not just the shock, but the alcohol. He felt like he couldn’t think of anything worthy to say. What was he supposed to say to the person he had wanted to see for months but thought he never would again?  
“Yes. I assumed.” Mollymauk sat down on the edge of the bed. “But I’m alive now and that’s really all that matters in the long run right?”  
Caleb was starting to hyperventilate again, the unwarranted stress of the situation weighing down on him as he felt the fabric of the coat in his hands again.  
“Alright, let’s calm down!” Molly crooned, leaning forward and pressing the back of his hand to Caleb’s forehead. After only half a second of contact, which felt like half an hour to Caleb, he withdrew his hand and picked up the smaller cup. “Just drink this. It’ll help knock the ale out of your system so you can focus easier. I think you’re too foggy right now to really have a conversation of any sorts.”  
Caleb gently dropped the coat out of one hand and reached out, ignoring the shakiness as he took the cup out of Molly’s hand, careful not to make contact with him again.  
“What is it?”  
“A blend of medicinal herbs,” the tiefling shrugged. “Don’t worry too much about it. It’s a secret item the tavern keeps for the regular drinkers.”  
Caleb frowned down at the cup before tipping his head back and drinking it all in one go. It was bitter, but the way the flavor coated his tongue was helping cut through the fog in his mind already. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, focusing on centering himself.  
“There we go! Perfect!” He could hear the grin in Molly’s voice even with his eyes closed. After a few more deep breaths, Caleb opened his eyes again and was glad to see that the light from the oil lamp didn’t cause a sharp pain anymore.  
“Better?” Molly asked, taking the cup out of Caleb’s hand and setting it back on the tray.  
“Ja. Better.”  
“Good! So how do you know me?” Molly asked suddenly, not missing a beat in getting down to business. The question confirmed it beyond a doubt. Mollymauk didn’t recognize him, but that had always been a possibility, given the story he had told the Nein about the first time he had woken up in a grave. So it had happened. He had forgotten. And yet, he was alive. Caleb took yet another deep breath. _Focus on the facts._  
“My name is Caleb Widogast and I-”  
“It’s you!”  
Caleb hadn’t had a chance to even start his explanation before being interrupted by Molly jumping up. The coat that was still clutched in his hands was ripped away from him suddenly as Mollymauk lurched forward to grab it. He dug through the inside pocket briefly before producing a folded piece of paper.  
“This is you, isn’t it? CW!” he grinned, practically shoving the paper at Caleb. Caleb didn’t even need to unfold it to know what it was and know exactly what was written in it. It was the note he had written the day Molly died. It had been Nott’s idea, and a genius one at that. Molly hadn’t even remembered his name the first time he woke up in a grave, so they made sure that he would know what it is. Or at least the name he was given in that life. And they made sure he would know where to go to find them. So why-?  
“Yes, I wrote that,” Caleb nodded, glancing away from the note. “I was hoping it would be helpful just in case you...woke up again.”  
“Again? So it has happened before,” Molly nodded to himself. “Interesting.”  
“Interesting indeed,” Caleb sighed, reaching up and rubbing his temple with his free hand. His head was still pounding so he finally reached out, putting the note on the tray, and took the water, downing it. “What do you remember?”  
“Absolutely nothing,” Molly replied, grinning cheekily. “The only reason I even knew that you _knew_ me is because I haven’t told anyone in this area my actual name, according to your note. I just go by Molly here. So when you said Mollymauk, that was a dead give away.”  
“Smart…” And it was, whether intentional or not. It was a small trick, but a trick that seemed so very like Molly.  
“So you’re a part of the Mighty Nein, huh?” Molly asked, starting a new stream of questioning and leaning forward to observe him closely. “At least that’s what the letter implied. What is this _Mighty Nein_?”  
Caleb didn’t know where to start. How does one briefly explain the chaotic adventures of his friends and truly give an example of how they all are. How does one explain to a seemingly alive friend how much the Nein should mean to them? He set the cup back down on the tray and took the bread then.  
“The Nein...is a family,” he finally said, not sure what else to say about them. He had too many words and none of them would make sense to Molly right now. “Why didn’t you-”  
“Yes, that is the question, isn’t it?” Molly chuckled, cutting Caleb off again before he could finish. But he knew what Caleb was going to say. It was an obvious thing. _Why didn’t you come find us?_  
“I truly have no satisfying answer for you, unfortunately.” Molly sat down on the bed again and crossed his arms. “The best reason I can come up with is that I was scared. I was scared of that face you made when you saw me. I was scared of being around people who knew me more than I knew them. More than I know myself. I don’t know who I am at all, I’m just making it up as I go along. But most of all, I was scared that the people I knew before would see me and realize that I wasn’t the same person and then cast me aside. I’m scared of finding out that I really am not Mollymauk Tealeaf at all and I’m someone else entirely. So I decided to just be Molly.”  
Caleb was shocked, not because of the story he spun, but because of the way he spun it. This all sounded so incredibly honest, something Mollymauk Tealeaf typically was not. They had to put a spell on him to get him to explain himself originally, but now he was spouting his personal insecurities just from a small question. He was scared and he was willing to admit that and talk about it to someone that he didn’t recognize.  
“That was a lot, wasn’t it,” Molly laughed, grinning again and unfolding his arms. “Sorry. I’m still trying to figure out boundaries. You know, mentally I’m only a month old and society is a hard concept to grasp at such a young age.”  
“A...month.” Caleb’s mouth fell open. He’d been wandering around with the Mighty Nein, wallowing in endless thoughts about their deceased friend...when in reality he’d been here for a full month, completely alive and thriving on his own. Thriving as _just Molly_.  
“Yes. So, what brings you out here drinking alone? Where is the rest of your group?” Molly asked, shifting easily from the tense atmosphere and back into his normal line of questioning.  
“Oh,” Caleb muttered, whiplashed despite Mollymauk’s apparent ease. “The festival. We were passing through and Jester wanted to make sure we stopped here during the local festival.”  
“Of course! That makes sense,” Molly nodded. “Everyone’s been talking about this festival and obviously I haven’t been to one yet. I planned to go out for a bit of fun tomorrow, but I find myself preoccupied now.”  
Hearing that come out of Molly’s mouth was like a punch to the gut, seeming as Caleb had been to festivals with him before. They’d all made great memories at different parties and festivals together, but Molly had no idea. There was nothing there to remind him of them.  
“See, that’s exactly what I was afraid of,” Molly sighed, crossing his arms yet again.  
“What?” Caleb asked, nibbling at the bread in his hands nervously.  
“Your face right now says it all. I like to make people laugh and smile but your face says you’re upset. You’re upset and I did that to you. That’s what I was afraid of.”  
“...well, at least that takes care of one of your fears,” Caleb said, louder than he had intended. He hadn’t really wanted Molly to hear him. But it caught Molly off guard, eyebrows furrowed.  
“Hm? What do you mean?” Molly asked, running a hand over one of his horns. This seemed to be a new nervous habit that Caleb didn’t recognize from before he had left them, seeming as he had done it earlier in the tavern.  
“You sound like the Mollymauk Tealeaf I know. So if you were worried that you’re a completely different person, I wouldn’t dwell on that. You should just be you and that’s all that should matter.”  
Molly was still stunned, but when Caleb finished speaking, a small smile graced his face after thinking about that for a second.  
“You haven’t talked about why you were drinking alone,” he said, not responding to the previous track the conversation was going.  
“Ah...I just don’t like parties,” Caleb stuttered out. There was no way he could talk about his reason for drinking alone. How could he look Mollymauk in the face and tell him that he’d been drinking because of how much he had affected all of them in the short time they had all been together. And how much it affected them all when he was gone.  
Molly didn’t respond for a moment, he just looked at Caleb intently with that smile still on his face. Caleb looked down at the bread still in his hands. He felt like Molly could read him too easily, like he was an open book.  
“What else do you not like, then?” Molly finally said, a smug grin on his face. “Why don’t you tell me a little more?”  
“What do you-”  
“Tell me some stories! Tell me about yourself. Tell me about the others. Jester? Was that a name you used earlier?”  
Caleb was still unsure of how to respond to this situation, the shock never leaving his system although his head was feeling better now. But if there’s one thing he could do, it was recount facts.  
“Ok…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up, just to peak some interest, we will have the festival chapter, and then my actual plot line!


	4. Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIVE. My new work schedule really threw me for a loop so I haven't been super productive. At all. For months. Also I had covid over christmas so that's a thing...Anyways...I didn't proofread this whoops.
> 
> Ok. Here is the chapter! Things finally start taking shape with an actual plot and my inability to write in character. I always struggle to get a story rolling but HERE WE GO. Plot!

Hours later, the sun was starting to peak through the curtains of the window as Caleb spun tales, although he knew it would be. He could feel the sunrise coming, but he continued to quote lines from his friends with his perfect memory, minus the accents, spurred on by Mollymauk's undivided attention. He laughed and sneered and ask questions when appropriate, a perfect audience. 

Caleb had started his tale with what happened after they had found Jester, Fjord, and Yasha. He didn't want to talk about anything that had to do with Molly or Lorenzo or the Iron Shepards or any of the events that followed immediately after. And Molly did not ask. He could tell well enough that it was an area they didn't need to talk about right now, for Caleb's sake. Although the events of his death was something that had been haunting him for the past month. He was curious is all! But not now. 

"And now, I'm here." And that was it. Caleb had described, although briefly, what all they had been doing for the past few months. He did leave out the agonizing he'd been doing, the poems he'd been writing, and anything that had to do with the after effects of missing Mollymauk. 

"Wow." 

"Yes. Wow," Caleb nodded. "That's the Mighty Nein." 

"Quite incredible, I must say!" Molly grinned. "A band of interesting folks is bound to attract interesting adventures." Caleb didn't bother bringing up that Molly was the most _interesting_ person he'd ever seen, which was saying a lot. "And you said you were merely stopping her for the festival?" 

"Ja. Jester wanted to. We haven't had much time to _party_ lately," Caleb nodded. "Then we were heading onwards towards Zadash to figure out our next move." Molly nodded, thoughtfully, then glanced up towards the window as if noticing for the first time that the sun had arrived, and with it, morning.

"I think it's time for me to go to work," he said, an odd phrase to hear from the tiefling. "I was told I could have the night off to join in the festivities, but I'd rather leave the tavern ready to handle the rush without me, so I'd rather help them out in the morning. I'm assuming you'll want to go back to the Mighty Nein in the time being?"

Caleb had a momentary crisis. He hadn't been away from his found family very long before, especially Nott. But he felt like if he blinked, this would all be over. Molly would be in the ground. His coat would just be a dirty rag hanging from a stick in the mud. He wouldn't be here. If he left, this would all seem like a dream he would be able to recall with perfect memory but not able to have it again.

"I think I'll stay here for now...I'm tired," Caleb nodded, not allowing himself to look Molly in the eyes as he said it. He was afraid it would give away his true intentions of making sure Molly didn't get spooked and run away. Molly seemed genuinely worried about upsetting people with his missing memories, so he wouldn't put it behind him to run away. The old Molly didn't run from problems, but this wasn't the old Molly.

"Sleep off that headache you have to be nursing," Molly said with a gentle grin. "I'll be back up in a little bit." 

And with that, he was gone, but he left his coat in his room, bright and colorful laying across the bed. And that was enough for Caleb to feel like he wouldn't leave. 

~~

Molly wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He knew this situation would probably happen eventually, but he was hoping the world was big enough that he wouldn't have to deal with it for awhile. At least until he could figure out who he wanted to be in this new life he was given. But it seemed that he wouldn't be that lucky. No. He had to deal with it now. 

But at least he could deal with it slowly. 

If there was something Molly was good at, it was reading people. He could tell when someone was happy or sad. When someone had heavy pockets or when someone needed a free drink. He just had the gift of knowing what he could do to make people happy. However Caleb was like a closed book. Every few minutes while he was telling stories, Molly could catch him off guard with something and Caleb wouldn't have time to steel his expression. In those moments, the shock and memory would shine through and Molly would remember why he didn't seek them out in the first place. The memory was missing from him and forgetting such important people was hurtful to them. Hurtful to Caleb.

He wondered if it had been any of the other members of the Mighty Nein to find him, would they have been as understanding of his need to stay a secret or would they have run and told the others immediately? He couldn't tell their exact personalities just from Caleb's stories, so it was impossible to know. But Caleb? He seemed to understand. He didn't go running or try to convince him to talk to the others. He listened and thought it was reasonable. Or at least acted like he thought it was reasonable.

Molly wasn't sure what to do tomorrow. 

But he knew what he wanted to do tonight.

~~

Caleb wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He was so good at keeping his secrets from the world, but then he thought of Jester's face when she found out about Molly dying in their quest to save her. He thought about Yasha leaving constantly because she couldn't bare to see the family that Mollymauk deserved to have. He thought about Beau sobbing as she told everyone about Molly's dream to leave every town better than he found it. They were all still carrying that guilt with them and now he knew that they didn't have to. 

But he also understood the fear that Molly was holding on to. Caleb would give just about anything to wake up a blank slate and not remember his traumatic past, but did he want to forget the Nein? Would he be able to bare that? He didn't really know what it was like to forget things, damn his keen mind.

He tried to sit for a second and think of Nott's face if she had called to him and he didn't recognize her. He couldn't imagine it though. It hurt just to think about it. Then he tried to think about what his face looked like when he figured out Molly didn't recognize him. Yeah. He understood why Molly didn't want anyone else to look at him like that. 

So he didn't want to scare Molly away and he didn't want to leave him alone for too long, but he had to send a message to the others soon. They had to be worried at this point, especially Nott. She would know he didn't run away without her although the others might not. He'd write a letter and put it under Nott's door later explaining...something. But for now, he needed to write down everything he knew about memory issues and see if there was anything that could help Mollymauk remember something. Anything that would help him feel ready to talk to the Nein. 

However the pounding in his head reminded him that he needed a nap before he could be of much help to anyone.

He clutched at the coat laying across the bed and ran his finger tips over the embroidery thread. A sun. A moon. A peacock. Swirls and stars and triangles. As Caleb let himself fall back asleep, he committed the shapes to memory.

~~

Molly traipsed up the stairs, easily balancing another tray of meat, fruit, and tea. It was past time for lunch but when he went up the first time, Caleb was still asleep and Molly did not want to wake him up. But if he wanted to eat festival foods in a few hours for dinner, he'd have to wake up Caleb at some point. However, when he opened the door, Caleb was already up and awake, writing in a small journal on the bed.

"Good afternoon," he said, without looking up from his journal. He appeared to be more composed now, as if getting used to the idea that Molly had appeared here without warning and no longer dead. Molly knew it wouldn't be that easy though.

"Afternoon, my good sir! I've brought some lunch for you or would you like to come downstairs now that you're awake enough for that." 

"Here is fine. I'm not much a people person," Caleb said, closing his journal and shoving into one of the many pockets. "Not much of a people person. So you wouldn't want to go to the festival then?" Molly asked, setting the tray down on the bed so Caleb could take a cup of tea. "I was very excited to attend, you know. I remember you saying you don't like parties and if you'd rather go find your friends or-" "No! No, I'll go with you," Caleb said, standing up shakily and stretching his arms. "I know how to navigate a party and I know the kinds of things you should like."

"Key word being _should_. But I always welcome company!" Molly smirked, taking some fruit off of the plate. "Eat lightly because festival foods await us." 

Caleb took a tea cup and sat on the window sill over looking the street. He watched the people walking by while he drank it slowly. It wasn't dark out yet so the lamps all hung loosely, unlit. His memory gave him the impression that they would be lit in around two hours, which gave him an idea. 

"Why don't we get ready to go out now?" he asked, turning back and setting the cup back on the tray. "I think we could find some things to do before it gets dark." 

"Splendid idea! Why waste time? Let's head out!" Molly exclaimed, leaping up. 

"Not yet. You have to get disguised first." Caleb stood and looked around the room. 

"Disguised?" Molly asked. "What for?" 

"If the rest of the Mighty Nein are out and any of them get a glimpse of you, they won't stop until they find you and talk to you. If you want to keep some privacy, a disguise is going to be necessary." Molly was frowning now, tapping his nail to his chin in thought. Caleb was only making sense though.

"Well what would you suggest then?" he asked. 

"I can disguise myself so they don't chase after me," Caleb shrugged. "I have that ability. And then you can borrow my coat and cover your horns in some way? The others would never think that you'd wear this old thing." 

"And I wouldn't," Molly's frown deepened, glancing down at the dirty thing Caleb was wearing. "But I suppose if I must to avoid suspicions. I had hoped to wear something a little more fancy." 

"Definitely not your coat," Caleb said, watching Mollymauk glance back towards his embroidered, rainbow coat. "They would recognize that in seconds." 

"Fine," Molly huffed, placing a hand on his hip while reaching out with the other one. "Hand it over."

Caleb checked the pockets of his coat, taking a few of the components out and putting them into his pants pockets, and then shrugged the coat off. He tried not to be embarrassed as he handed the dirty thing to Molly, whose clothing was spotless and immaculate. 

"And what will you be wearing to disguise yourself?" Molly asked, eyeing the coat with disdain. Caleb cast disguise self and transformed himself slowly into a male half-elf, a good head taller than Molly, with long blonde hair. Molly observed him intently, watching Caleb's features elongate as the magic flowed around him. After a few seconds, the magic finished and Caleb appeared to be a completely different person. 

"I can do this for an hour and I can do it multiple times," Caleb said, his voice not disguised at all. "Put on the coat, cover up, and let's hurry out before I run out of spells." 

"Incredible!" Molly smiled, eyes wide as he reached over and held up a lock of Caleb's magical, blonde hair. "I've seen a few people do magic while passing through, but nothing this fancy!" 

Caleb couldn't help but swell with pride at that. By the time he had met Mollymauk the first time, he had traveled across the land and seen so much and worked with such interesting people at the circus. Nothing Caleb could do was really impressive to him, especially at the time, but now with this new Molly, he was probably the most magical person he'd ever met. 

"It's really nothing special," he said, failing at brushing off the feeling of pride. "Come on now. Daylight is burning."

They worked quickly to cover his horns with a few scraps from the disguise kit that Molly had been buried with and used some of the paint in it to cover his tattoo. Mollymauk really didn't want to cover it, but agreed to it after Caleb explained it was what convinced him that he was in fact Mollymauk back in the flesh. Nobody else would have such an intricate and beautiful detail. It had to be him. So he relinquished and painted his cheek and neck just incase. 

"Ok ok," he sighed, tossing the coat over his shoulders and frowning at the false half-elf in front of him. "Am I drab enough now?" 

"Sufficiently," Caleb nodded. It would be hard to completely disguise the bright tiefling with just a kit, but covering the horns, curls, and tattoo would've convinced him that his mind was playing tricks on him last night if he'd seen this Molly instead of the colorful dancing one from the tavern bar. 

"Wonderful. Just what I always wanted," Molly muttered, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Don't worry. You'll forget about it as soon as you get into the crowd." 

"Well then, I'm way too sober! Let's go!" 

Caleb's heart clenched in his chest when Molly reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling his unusually taller form out of the door quickly. They had covered Molly's facial tattoos but not the one on his hand. Seeing the twisting snake with its red eye grasping his arm was something he didn't think he'd see except in his dreams. It still felt unreal and maybe it was. Maybe all of this was some elaborate illusion of a dream. And if it was, he didn't want to wake up.

~~~

Outside, it was starting to get busier as people were leaving their daily jobs and heading out to the festival tents and stands. Molly was practically bouncing, jittering up and down with excitement. A few of his regulars stopped him and smiled, asking him about his tattoo and head wrappings. He just winked and came up with a different excuse each time. Hiding from his ex-girlfriend's angry father. A spy mission to infiltrate the festival and find the best cake. The tavern owner had sent him out to scout the other bars that were open. A different story for each person that waved his way and Caleb was entranced. 

This was the Molly he remembered. Caleb never knew what stories he could trust to be truths from the circus man. He was bright and full of lies, but they were pretty lies. Enjoyable. Every person he talked to laughed and left his presence smiling. THAT was the Molly that Caleb knew and it was comforting to see that he was the same. Molly was in there, whether he thought so or not. 

"What shall we do first? Go into one of the game tents?" Molly asked after walking away from the daughter of one of the tavern customers. "You have been to more festivals than I have." 

"You practically lived at a festival before," Caleb recounted the circus without thinking. 

"How do you mean?" Molly pried, eyeing him from the side. He'd been interested in his past, that much Caleb could tell last night, but he wasn't ready to go into it yet. Thinking about the memories Molly _should_ have but doesn't wouldn't be great for his current mental state. 

"Let's stay outside for now. Perhaps get some of those festival foods you wanted?" Caleb said, ignoring the question. It was getting close to sundown and he didn't want Molly to miss what he was hoping would be exciting for him. It was something he had hated watching yesterday, but how quickly emotions can change.

Mollymauk, being the impulsive being he was, hurried to the first stall he could see and purchased two large pastries. Caleb had to chase him as he ran to the next stall to buy a pitcher of some sort of alcohol. And of course, he moved on to the next one to find a giant turkey leg. Caleb just followed, doing his best to keep up, but content to watch the tiefling flit around the courtyard stalls until he had a small pile of food in his arms. 

"Are you trying to feed an army?" he asked when Molly was finally satisfied with his collection and settled in at a table set up in a crowded area of the main courtyard. 

"Come now, I just want to taste it all and what better way than buying it all?" he replied. "There's enough for you to have as much as you want. And I know you're hungry since you didn't end up eating lunch." 

Caleb shrugged his disguised shoulders, taking a piece of bread out of the pile and smearing a little honey on it. Mollymauk immediately began tasting each item, eyes curious and excited. It was like watching a child. Molly was easily excitable and curious, watching the people prancing around the courtyard. Caleb watched too, but more so to make sure the Nein didn't appear and scare off the tiefling. 

Then, just as Mollymauk was pouring his second cup of ale from the pitcher, it was time. 

The sun dipped below the line of the horizon and the street was plunged into a deep purple sort of darkness...and then a flash. 

"Mollymauk, look." 

As Molly lifted his head up from his focus on the pitcher, the same group of magic users from the night before appeared at the center of the courtyard, standing back to back from each other. The flash came from one of them who now held a ball of orange light in their hand, casting a warm glow around the area and illuminating the excited faces of the gathering crowd. The magic user reached out, breathed in, and then pushed out their breath. A strand of circus-like lamps in front of them began to light one at a time, arcane energy flowing across the string. Next to them, a second magic user reached out and brandished a mystical blue light, pushing its energy out across another strand of lights and creating a string of bright blue. 

Caleb, however, wasn't watching any of the magic, opting instead to keep his eyes on Mollymauk's. Molly's expression was wide with awe, the orange and blue reflecting in his pupilless eyes as he stared at the dancing lights now flying across every lamp strand in town, throwing everything in sight into a bright and moving liveliness. The whole town felt as vivacious as the tavern had last night when Molly had gotten the entire bar laughing and dancing.

Caleb had been too distracted by the beautiful arcane light mirrored in Molly's eyes to register that he had turned his gaze back on him. And then suddenly, they were just looking at each other in the soft, vellicating blue and orange. Caleb found that he couldn't look away, perhaps because of the months he'd wished he could look at Mollymauk's golden aura again and feel the bubbling joy he could bring to any situation. The light he could ignite just by being himself even if he didn't know who he was. But then Molly frowned, his eyebrow furrowing as his glare tightened on the false half-elf.

"Hey, Caleb?" he asked, tone flat and giving nothing away. 

"What's wrong?" Caleb muttered, gaze unwavering. 

"Drop the disguise." That took Caleb by surprise. 

"What? Why?" he demanded, his own eyebrows furrowing to match Molly's expression. "I thought we went over this."

"Just...just do it?" Molly's lips clenched into a thin line as his eyes seemed to bore holes into Caleb's skin. The odd way the phrase twisted into a question at the end caught Caleb off guard. It caught him so off guard that he found himself giving in and peering around one more time for any sign of blue or green. And then he dropped the disguise. 

He felt his illusion fading as Mollymauk's eyes softened, seeing the red hair and smudged skin instead of the blonde locks and physique of a half-elf. He sat there for a second, nerves on fire as the crowd felt like it was closing in around him, inviting the Nein to appear and sweep him away from the recovered tiefling. 

But then Molly said something that made everything else around them disappear. And in that moment, it was just the two of them in the dim lighting, flickering around them like magical, arcane candles. Caleb's breath caught in his ribs as a glimmer of recognition went through Molly's delicate expression while he spoke.

"Well...I don't believe I've ever seen a group of people more in need of a good time in my entire life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got in a list mood and made a spotify playlist for this fanfic if anyone wants to check it out! Enjoy I guess! lol
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2eAGjs9p1861JDjv3IW4h6?si=90nBPWOYTX-qIsrI12Wcag

**Author's Note:**

> I've written 110 pages of this at work into a composition notebook and was encouraged to post it so...here we go I guess? It's my first time posting a CR fic. Probably should've started with a one-shot instead of this ridiculously long plot line.  
> Again, I'm not doing a TON of extra research to make sure I get details right so don't come at me for things. I just like the storyline I came up with! 
> 
> Final warning...I'm a sappy person so future chapters might end up getting sappy and I'm sorry? If you're not into that, I wouldn't get invested into this!


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